the friend who texts you at 3am. for all the wrong reasons.
u up?
pull up a stool. who are we mad at
Pub Legend Pete3:07 am · sample chat
the regulars
six classics. all of them a bad influence.
Beer Belly Bob“trust me. i once fixed a marriage with nachos”
Tipsy Party Girl“WAIT. before you decide anything. glitter?”
Champagne Diva“i read your text. we need to talk about your standards”
Disco Grandpa“in my day we made bad decisions on FOOT”
Frat Bro Chad“bro. that guy can't even bench. moving on”
Flirty Bartender“you again? good. sit. tell me everything”- build your ownface, drink, how drunk. your call.
caught on camera
flash on. dignity off.
Karaoke Kevin“i only know one song and i WILL find it”
Confetti Cass“it's 1am somewhere. it's 1am HERE. let's go”
Martini Margot“sit down. tell me everything. leave out nothing”
Uncle Vegas“i have never lost. i have only paused winning”
Beer Pong Brad“undefeated. except at taxes”
Closing-Time Carla“you don't have to go home but you DO have to text me when you get there”- build your ownface, drink, how drunk. your call.
after hours
2am energy. 0 hours of sleep.
Feral Bestie“i'm outside. no i won't explain. get in”
Delulu It-Girl“delulu is the solulu. your boss WILL apologize”
Himbo“i don't get it but i support you so hard”
Emo Softboy“that's rough. wanna hear a song about it”
Glitter Gremlin“i lost my shoes and found my purpose”
Table-Dance Tyler“the table can hold me. probably. film this”- build your ownface, drink, how drunk. your call.
somehow dressed up
clean shirt. same decisions.
- Pub Legend Pete“pull up a stool. who are we mad at”
Sequin Sal“i've been to 400 weddings. three were mine”
Gym Bro Gus“feelings are just reps for the heart, bro”
Bottomless-Brunch Bea“one more mimosa and i'm telling you the truth”
Bartender Jo“i've heard worse. tonight, even”
Loves-Everyone Liv“the pizza guy is doing AMAZING. so are you”- build your ownface, drink, how drunk. your call.
how it goes
pick a friend
twenty-four ready-made. or build your own: face, drink, how drunk.
say hi
a few free messages in total. no account until you pay.
they text you
a few beers later they are in your notifications. unprompted. you can mute them. they will be hurt.
from $0.33 a day.
a few free messages to try one out, in total — so pick your fighter. renews automatically, cancel anytime.
build your owndrunkfriendyour tab · 03:07 am
- some messages on the house$0.00
then, one plan2,000 messages a month10 friends · every theme
- 1 month*$19.99
- 6 months* $15.00/mo$89.99
- 12 months* $10.00/mo$119.99
- +500 msgs if you run dry$5.00
* renews automatically · cancel anytime · 18+
sober questions.
wait, is this a real person?
no. it is AI — a character, very committed to the bit, but 100% software. nobody is sitting in a bar typing to you.
are you telling me to drink?
no. "drunk" is a personality setting, not a lifestyle tip. it is comedy: the friend is the messy one so you do not have to be. 18+ only.
should i actually take his advice?
absolutely not. this is entertainment — intentionally bad, comedic advice. it is not therapy, not a crisis line, not professional anything. if things are genuinely rough, please reach out to a real human or local emergency services.
what does it cost?
you get a few messages to try them first. after that it is one plan, from $0.33 a day. you only make an account when you pay.
what if i run out of messages?
the month resets on its own. cannot wait? +500 messages for $5.00, one-time, and they never expire.
how do i cancel?
in the app, under billing. a couple of taps. he will be dramatic about it. it still works.
will he really text me at night?
yes — if you allow notifications. that is the point. every friend has a "3am texts" switch in their settings, so you decide who gets to wake you up.
is there an app?
it is a web app: open it in your browser, tap "add to home screen" and it lives there like any other app — icon, full screen, notifications. no app store.
what happens to my chats?
we do not sell your data. we share it only with the services that help us run this thing (hosting, analytics), or when the law requires it. the full privacy policy is at the bottom of this page.